The other day the President took his wife on a night out in NYC. Today the New York Times had an article suggesting (a little tongue-in-cheek) that the Commander in Chief may have made some men look bad because, hey, if he had time to take his wife out on a date, every man should have the time.
The article then went on to detail the lengths some men did not go to be romantic. Some poor women reported not having a night out as a couple in a very long time. But then, some couples found time for being romantic after decades of being together.
My hubby of twenty plus years and I have always tried to have a date night (except for the first few years after my daughter was born and neither of us wanted to let her out of our sight:). Even when money was tight, somehow once a month we scraped together enough for a babysitter (our families lived too far away to help much) and went to a movie. Eventually we could even afford dinner with the movie once in a while. Even with just those few hours, we'd be able to reconnect. For us that meant laughing at the absurdity of our busy lives or planning out home repairs or maybe a vacation or simply confiding in each other our respective work problems. Somehow, it felt intimate even though we were out in public places.
My daughter often chastises my husband for not being her version of romantic. No, he doesn't notice my hair when I get it done, or a new outfit, or anything I may do around the house. And, like many men, he isn't one to say the L-word often, in fact, he rarely shows his emotions.
But he is the type of guy who has tea waiting for me in the morning and makes it for me every night as we watch T.V. He's even been known to surprise me with a cup as I'm working away at the computer just because. I find that terribly romantic.
And, though he's not the most demonstrative soul, he won't leave the house in the morning without giving me a good-bye kiss, even tracking me down in the basement if need be. That always warms my heart.
Oh and he will bring me flowers for no reason--not often--but often enough to be memorable.
Perhaps most important, though, is that he's there for me, supporting me in anything I tackle. 24/7 I know I can depend upon him. To me, that's very romantic.
So while he may not whisk me off on a surprise vacation or take me to some place exotic on a date or text me that he loves me--he's romantic enough for me.
What does your husband or significant other do that you find romantic? Or what do you wish he'd do :) And do you do anything romantic for him?
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12 comments:
Great post, Anne. :) Like you and yours, my husband and I try to have 'date nights' when we can manage it, and it's worth every penny of the babysitting fee! It gives us a chance to re-connect and feel like a couple again, not just 'mum and dad.' ;-) I get coffee in bed every morning, a proper cappucino with the frothy top and chocolate sprinkles - I think that's terribly romantic! What do I do for him, probably not enough! Sometimes I'll buy him lunch and pop down to the office with it, or maybe a treat of his favourite chocolate or magazine when I'm shopping. Maybe not everyone's idea of romance, but often it's the little things that mean a lot in a relationship, right? :)
Jane x
www.janerichardson.co.uk
My hubby and I don't always get out for date night because he works 2nd shift, but many times we sit in our front room after the kids leave for school and drink coffee (him) and tea (me) while we talk. I can tell when we haven't had time to do this when we get a little short with each other. That chance to just sit together and talk makes a big difference. Other than that, he's not the most romantic, even though I've tried over the past 16 years to explain it's the little things that mean more than some big gesture. :) Still, I wouldn't trade him for anyone else.
Good one! My husband and I just got back from a weekender at Jackpot, Nevada, something we have been doing about every 3 months now. Gives us an escape from the kiddies and, yes, he is very romantic. We were celebrating our 19th wedding anniversary. He gets me my first cup of coffee in the morning, has dinner fixed every day when I get home, does the laundry. How much better could it get!
Patsy
P. L. Parker
Jane, I agree its the little things--like getting my kiss this morning :) And Stacey, the fact you both make time to talk is big! Wow, Patsy--coffee, dinner, laundry--does he give lessons? Actually, my hubby does the laundry too (and he'd die if he thought I told anyone-lol) which started when our daughter was born and he wanted to help me out--and I've never asked for it back :). Thanks for stopping in!
My husband isn't very romantic. He'll tell you that himself. So when he does things that are romantic, and I point them out, he just shrugs.
So one day, about 7 years ago, we were at a Ren Festival and I was at a table, waiting for him to get back with our lunch. He came back with a big turkey leg in one hand and a rose in the other. I burst into tears, smiling and telling him how romantic it was. He gave me the shoulder shrug and "psh" and handed me both so I could get a bit first... but I swear I saw him blush. :)
I thought that was the most romantic thing he had ever done. Still makes me giggle like a school girl. Anyway, love this topic.
Tabitha Gibson
www.tabithagibson.com
Romance to captivate your heart....
Ahh Tabitha, your story had ME smiling :). Sometimes I think that because they don't do things that often, when they do, it means so much more. Thanks for sharing.
My DH is as romantic as a toad. And you can't teach an old dog new tricks. He's there if I need him, he can fix anything, and he makes me laugh. Trade off I guess?
Knowing I can depend on my husband, no matter what, is the biggest turn-on for me.
Funny, I am the unromantic one in our relationship. The first year he brought me flowers for some special day, I tore a strip off him for letting Hallmark tell him how to spend money (we didn't have at the time) and impressing me not one whit.
That said, he always, always, has me in mind. Every time he goes shopping (and he does all the grocery shopping) he brings me a little treat of some kind. When he makes me dinner (and he does all the cooking) he makes sure to have a little special something--sometimes a garnish or a sauce he knows I like--even if it means making two sets of whatever. Mind you, he's sometimes brusque with me when I don't have my laundry ready (and he does all the laundry) and he has to gather it up himself.
But probably the most romantic thing is the way he dotes on me when we are out, or the way he insists on cuddling time when we are in. We've been together for, umm, I think sixteen years or so (see, I'm not very romantic) and I think I'm going to keep him.
My husband doesn't do grand gestures, but I think it's romantic that my husband calls me to check on me during the day...especially if he knows I'm having a bad day. He also makes sure to give me the sweetest kisses, but not at the same time during the day so it's always a surprise.
Well, I'd say we ladies are darn lucky. Sounds like we've got keepers even if they all aren't the most romantic banana in the bunch!:)
When I tell folks I had an arranged marriage, they think it's the most unromantic thing imaginable. But I'm married to a guy who's romantic in the most endearing ways.
When he was forced into early retirement a couple of years, he enrolled himself in a web design course so he could become my webmaster. He's also my unpaid assistant and accountant. He has a cup of tea waiting for me when I come home from my day job. He's always there to give me a hug when I've had a bad day. I always get a goodbye kiss when I leave for work in the mornings. Best of all, he tells me I'm beautiful when I know I'm the most ordinary looking little woman in the world.
Who needs chocolates and champagne when I can get a foot rub or a cuddle when I need them the most? Romance comes in the most unusual packages.
Shobhan
THE SARI SHOP WIDOW
Kensington - Sept 2009
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